


Sister Wives and Brother Husbands

by catlikeacat



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Multi, No Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catlikeacat/pseuds/catlikeacat
Summary: Nick and Kim really hadn’t thought that Judith’d say “yes” to their odd proposal.Almost wondering if John’s mentality had seeped too deeply into her brain, if not for the genuine enthusiasm at the idea.





	Sister Wives and Brother Husbands

**Author's Note:**

> Just taking a break from my long fic (A Test of Faith, same deputy in it, Judith Redfox) to do a cute little one-shot with one of my other numerous Judith ships. She wouldn't truly be the world's most successful bi if I didn't have a roster of pairings for her.
> 
> I also accidentally just gave Kim Rye more lore than FC5 + New Dawn combined, oops. That whole section in the middle came from nowhere.

Nick and Kim really hadn’t thought that Judith’d say “yes” to their odd proposal.

Almost wondering if John’s mentality had seeped too deeply into her brain, if not for the genuine enthusiasm at the idea. Even if she was a bit surprised.

She’d been living with them for a while anyways. Not wanting to go back to her former life completely, maybe not even able to at this point. They knew that she had problems with being alone now, going back to a cold bachelorette pad alone would crush her.

Leaving her more than content to sleep on the Rye family sofa. Leaving only to go to work.

They had to admit, even with the threat of the cult stamped out they liked the added deterrent of having a police cruiser parked in front of their house.

Things had been like that for a couple months after Joseph was hauled away to jail. A weird roommate without even a room to stay in, who helped them pay for necessities and even helped take care of Carmina.

All that and she was sleeping on a beat up old couch. Not even a fold out.

Somehow, the easy part was proposing it to each other. Lying in bed, lights out, Kim’s voice cutting through the silence.

“So… about Judith…”

Nick had instantly agreed.

Now asking Judith was the harder part. Sitting around the dinner table one evening, Kim having gone out of her way to make all of Judith’s favorites. Spoiling her, really, with the largest steak the woman had ever laid eyes on.

Somehow, seeing her tear into the meat like a rabid animal wasn’t a deal breaker.

When they’d first asked Judith about being a part of their relationship, their third, she’d genuinely thought they were joking. Laughed it off and shoved another large chunk of beef in her mouth.

But the look on their faces was dead serious and it slowly dawned on her as she awkwardly chewed and choked down the piece of meat.

“Wait, so like, you want me to be your sister wife?”

Nick and Kim had looked at each other before back at Judith, nodding with a shrug each.

“Hell yeah,” Judith had smirked, “Never seduced both halves of a couple at once. I’m growing more powerful.”

For all of Judith’s supposed confidence in that moment, when the three of them were staring down the bed they were all equals in awkwardness. Eventually working out who gets to be cuddled in the middle. Judith tonight, since she’s been sleeping on a couch for a long time, then they’ll have a rotation.

Judith felt like it was somehow a trap as she crawled into the middle of the bed. Even as Nick crawled in one side and Kim on the other, both of them cuddling against her. Half shaved head pressed against one collarbone and scratchy beard on the other.

Man, this was weird. Not bad. But weird.

Three days in it was normal.

Five days in it got awkward again and Judith had to shamefully admit her playgirl failure that she’d never actually had a threesome before.

Unsurprisingly, she was a fan.

Seven days in, it was like Judith had always been a part of their family.

There were of course still things they’d have to consider going forward. This was three whole families you have to try to explain this to and none of them were going to be crazy about it. Not Kim’s straight laced family, not Nick’s deep Montana redneck one, and not Judith’s hardass rancher one.

At least they had confidence in their friends being accepting. Their particular ring of Hope County was certainly an odd one, thankfully. Unusually open minded.

On a smaller scale though, a baby sized one, this was going to be an odd thing for Carmina to grow up with.

Granted, right now Carmina is a floppy baby who doesn’t really have any thoughts deeper than ‘give me mushed peas or I will continue to scream’ but there were things they’d have to put in place in the near future.

“You guy like… worried at all about the whole… ‘Carmina has two mommies but also a daddy so it’s not only somewhat gay but also polyamorous which even less people are alright with’ issue? I mean… we’ve got a good four years before she’s going to be in school but uh… gonna make school events and parent-teacher conferences pretty awkward.”

“Well, if Carmina’s half as much of a fighter as any of us I don’t think she’ll have a hard time with anyone making fun of her,” Kim nodded at the currently wiggling baby between them all, lying on a blanket in the floor.

“An’ if anyone gives us trouble you can just get their license plate and pull ‘em over and give ‘em a ticket,” Nick beamed at Judith, not an ounce of ‘I’m joking’ in his voice.

“I can’t actually do that, you know that right?”

“Just a little bit?”

“No, not just a little bit,” Judith laughed before perking up and pointing at Kim, “Hey, you and me should get the same haircut and try to convince the teachers that we’re the same person.”

“We’re not the same race?”

“Yeah but we’re roughly the same height and people will be too mortified by the possibility of being wrong to do anything but internally freak out,” Judith grinned, “Wait, wasn’t Nick’s wife Asian? Oh no, did I get her race wrong? Time to internally panic about this for the duration of his meeting.”

Kim laughed and nodded, “Alright, alright, you’ve brought me around. Now we’ve GOT to try, at least once.”

“The thing I been thinking of is like… alright, I’m dad, that’s obvious,” Nick pointed at both of them, “Kim, I assume you’re gonna just be ‘mom.’ What’s Judith gonna be?”

“You could be mama?” Kim offered up, “Or mommy?”

“Nah, needs to be more tough and cool,” Nick correctly rejected those, Judith nodding along, “Mominator. Mombie. Madre. Maximom. Motherlode.”

“We could go full cult and have her call me just the Mother. I can grow my hair out into a greasy bun and develop a hatred of shirts. Well, I mean, I have the second thing already but people react a lot worse to me walking around with no shirt. ‘Cause titties.”

“I think that women should be allowed to walk around topless,” Nick looked proud of himself for that statement.

Kim rolled her eyes, “Hey, Nick? You know it’s not progressive if you just want it so you can see boobs more often.”

“Shit, really?” he deflated instantly, “But the people on the internet were talkin’ about it like it’s a good thing.”

“Good for the ones with the tits to want it, not the ones who wanna look at the tits,” Judith nodded along with Kim.

“Man, tryin’ to be progressive is hard sometimes...” Nick lamented, “Gotta get better before Carmina gets old enough to be disappointed in my personal failings.”

“You’re in a tri-multiracial polyamorous relationship despite being born in the absolute middle of nowhere Montana, I’m gonna give you a pass on some minor faux pas for that,” Judith replied, “Speaking of… something I’ve always wondered about you two…”

“Being?” Kim asked, leaning on her hand curiously. Judith wasn’t one to directly prod very often about people’s personal business.

“Nick’s a pretty open book. But you? I’ve picked out so little about your past in particular,” Judith pointed at Kim, “All I’ve caught is your parents are from Japan, you went to college for something, you seem to have come from a big city, and your first date with Nick involved him taking you up in his plane.”

“And your question is, specifically?”

“How did someone like you end up here with him? No offense, Nick,” Judith asked, patting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“None taken,” he shrugged, “Sometimes I ask myself the same question.”

“Well, in college I studied environmental science. I guess we can kinda thank Faith for me being here, they wanted a study on the Henbane River’s pollution levels and needed someone to come up here and monitor the changes. Report on noted sources of pollution. This sounds boring but maybe I can be a little bit nerdy.”

“So, how’d you go from swimming in the Henbane to dating the local flyboy?”

“Alright, so, I’m good with science but you know what I’m NOT good with? Directions. Ended up lost in Holland Valley, couldn’t even see any occupied buildings. Just passing by abandoned farm after abandoned farm.

“Guess you can thank John for that part.”

Kim nodded and continued, “Night’s falling and gas is running low then running on empty then coming to dead stop right outside the hangar, which I honestly thought was an abandoned warehouse, and all I can think is of my parents telling me they didn’t want me to go to Montana because it’s all full of scary gun toting rednecks and I’m gonna get kidnapped by a big scary mountain man to be his bride and they’ll never see me again. So I’m crying in my car like a little girl, completely convinced they were right and I’m gonna die.”

Nick leaned over and mock whispered to Judith, “Here’s where I come in.”

“He sure did,” Kim leaned over and picked up the now lightly fussing baby, content the second she was hoisted off the blanket which had grown boring, “Came up and knocked on my car window. He just wanted to help but I swear to god I thought ‘oh no here comes the mountain man to kidnap me.’”

“Yelped like a scared puppy dog,” Nick grinned, “Which I mean, honestly only made me more concerned. Thought she was havin’ a health crisis or something. Had to knock on the window for like a solid minute before she rolled it down.”

“God the next half hour of my life was a blur of terror. He somehow got me out of the car and into his house despite my absolute belief that this was it, I was gonna end up chopped up and stored in the shed behind the house.”

“Meanwhile, I’m thinkin’ that the poor lady is halfway to a heart attack and tryin’ to tell if I should call an ambulance.”

“And I was, for good ten minutes, until I realized exactly how stupid it was to think that the guy who was doing his absolute best to gently wrap my shaking hands around a glass of water was out to hurt me.”

“I was afraid she was gonna drop it on herself, an’ didn’t think she could handle the stress of bein’ soaked right now and I didn’t want a pretty girl keeling over in my house.”

“Then he drove his rickety old truck all the way out to where I was supposed to be staying while I just kinda… kept thanking him. Looked ready to have a heart attack himself when he nervously asked if I was doing anything this weekend.”

“Then it was all history from there,” Nick beamed at her, “Didn’t even know that I was the reason why she was scared that evening until our wedding day and she told the story and said ‘I guess I really did get kidnapped by a big, scary mountain man to be his bride.’”

“Man, I wish I coulda been there for you guys’ wedding,” Judith slid off the couch with Nick to nudge Kim over and cram into the recliner with her, gently grabbing each of Carmina’s little arms to make her dance, “You and me have that in common, tiny baby.”

Carmina’s only response was a general baby shriek.

“See? She gets it.”

“Maybe one day we can have a weird little bonus wedding with you too,” Nick pointed at her, “Like, officially makin’ you part of our family an’ everything. Have all our friends, throw a party, get you some white dresses-”

“On what planet do I seem like the type of gal to wear a wedding dress?” Judith snickered.

“Alright, get you and me some tuxs-”

“Two tuxedo t-shirts and a simple white dress we get from the thrift store,” Judith offered up.

“Yeah I don’t wanna do the big poofy white monstrocity again,” Kim cringed, “God, I could barely fit through doorways but mom insisted…”

“For the record, I ain’t entirely sure I can carry the both of you over the threshold,” Nick admitted.

“That’s okay, I should just carry each of you one by one since I’m the new one.”

“Can you pick me up?”

“I mean, it won’t be exactly the easiest but I picked up Pratt once as a joke and I didn’t drop ‘im and you’re not that much bulkier.”

“Bulkier?” Nick ran a hand over his nonexistent stomach fat, “You’re gonna give me a complex.”

Judith rolled her eyes, “Muscles, not fat. Pratt’s a leaner, more weaselly guy.”

Kim brought them back to the abandoned subject, “We’re on a tangent, mom based names for Judith. Go.”

“Mom 2: The Sequel to Mom.” Judith replied instantly.

Kim cackled, “We’re not calling you Mom 2!”

“The Sequel to Mom!” Judith insisted, wiggling Carmina’s arms again, “See? She likes it.”

“Your amateur puppeteering skills prove nothing,” Kim freed her daughter’s arms from Judith, “We’re not calling you Mom 2: The Sequel to Mom.”

“Mom 2: Electric Boogaloo,” Nick offered up.

Kim wailed, “No!”

“Mom 2: Back in Black but then I can only wear all black until the day I die.”

“Judith, no!”

“Mom 2: The Squeakquel!”

“Nick, that’s the worst one yet!”

Carmina’s suggestion was just a long, sustained squeal of laughter.

“She’s spoken, my new name is KYEHHAHAHAAAA. I will respond to nothing else from now on.”

Kim grabbed her shoulder and shook her, “No! Whatever, we’ll worry about it when she started talking! Let her actually choose it and, no, she did not select KYEHHAHAHAAAA as your name yet.”

“See, this is the only problem with sister wives, too many moms to name. Nick’s got it easy, being the only brother husband.”

“Well, like I said,” Kim replied, getting up and handing Judith the baby who was still squirming wildly, “We don’t have to worry about it until this thing can start talking. Now you two entertain Carmina while I get dinner started.”

“Alright, we’re going to keep brainstorming names while you do that,” Judith replied, making Carmina wave to her dad

“Don’t do that!” Kim cackled as she walked to the kitchen, “I can still hear you so don’t even try or I’ll burn the food on purpose.”

The second Kim was focused on cooking though, Judith stood up, snuck over to Nick, and sat next to him and both whispered giggly and progressively worse nicknames for her. Of course, Kim knew exactly what they were doing. Shaking her head as she chopped the vegetables.

Guess that comes with having a “sister wife” and a “brother husband.”


End file.
